Posted 20 hours ago

Notes on Heartbreak: From Vogue’s Dating Columnist, the must-read book on love and letting go

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Otherwise, you’ll be one of those people who begins sentences with: “My boyfriend, I mean ex-boyfriend. The date, she says, used to function as a “look-see”, whereas now it’s followed by long periods of friendship or casual sex before a more official “first date” is organised.

Whether you’ve had a big defining heartbreak in your life, or a series of little heartbreaks that amount to one, you will find this work captivating and worthwhile.No spoilers here, but the book has an intensely satisfactory ending, a phone conversation with her ex that is hopeful and healing and ultimately, full of mutual love. But I love that it’s like that, and I wonder why putting lots of feeling into writing can sometimes be seen a negative thing?

He must have been planning it for a while; no one breaks up with someone after five years on a whim. She and her ex had bought Billie Eilish concert tickets together months previously, and in his absence she was bringing her friend instead.

I did try to really confront ways in which I fucked things up: like not setting boundaries or cutting myself off from friends or being needy. No thought games where you imagine everything you’d do to get them back: drink a cup of toilet water, cut everyone else out of your life, sit in a room with James Corden for an hour – except you wouldn’t think that, because it’s a joke, and you wouldn’t be making any of those.

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